The Two Kinds of Lives: Are You Searching for Happiness or Just Avoiding Unhappiness?

For centuries, philosophers and thinkers have tried to pin down what happiness really is. Aristotle called it the ultimate purpose of life, the highest good. Epicurus said it was the absence of pain and the presence of peace. Beautiful words—but let’s be honest, they don’t always feel connected to our everyday lives.

Maybe that’s why people often treat happiness like some huge, distant achievement. Something you earn only after working hard enough, waiting long enough, becoming someone better. But I don’t think it has to be that complicated.

Doing what you love. Reaching the goals you set. Spending meaningful time with people you care about. Moments when your heart feels warm for no reason at all. That, to me, is happiness.

In the end, happiness is something that drifts away when you try to explain it—but comes close when you simply let yourself feel it.

We often say we live “to become happy.” But in truth, many of us are just trying not to be unhappy. At a glance, those sound similar. But their directions are completely opposite.

I think there are two kinds of lives.
One where you go out and find happiness.
And one where you spend your time trying to avoid unhappiness.

The first starts at zero. And the little things add up. A coffee break. A text from a friend. A sunset that stops you for a second. Even on the hard days, you keep looking for reasons to smile. Because you’re still open to the idea that something good might happen.

The second kind starts in the negative. And no matter how much effort you put in, you never quite reach zero. You're always trying to fix, to remove, to avoid. But the more you try to eliminate unhappiness, the further happiness seems to drift.

But happiness isn’t something that appears just because you’ve erased every lack or flaw. It’s something you discover. That’s a matter of direction.

If life feels heavy right now, I just want to say—
Happiness might be closer than you think.